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She would have panic attacks and cry if a bee got near her.My husband and I traded off doing activities with the other girls and staying in camp with Gracie.” If we go to Jamaica for Christmas, “what about the girls? Their mother is dead, their biological father is largely absent, and Dan has raised them since they were little girls—he’s their father, and any relationship you try to build with him that’s predicated on trying to diminish or mitigate that reality is doomed to fail.

Gracie says she wants to come, and I think it is mostly to please her mother.

Their biological father was not overly involved in their lives but not willing to sign away his paternal rights. The 18-year-old moved in with Dan as soon as her birthday came.

She has no plans for school as of now, does not have a full-time job, and calls Dan “Daddy.” I am very uncomfortable when I go over to Dan’s condo and she is there. When the 14-year-old comes over, the three of them are this little impregnable unit, and I feel like the new kid in the lunchroom.

A: Oh, this is tricky, especially because you’re not considering keeping it just in your nuclear family this year, but inviting all of the other cousins except for Gracie.

It would be one thing if you just wanted to take your own girls, but I’m not sure how you could keep everyone on the roster but Gracie, especially if she still says she wants to go. Stuck: I adore “Dan.” He is everything I want in a man: sweet, funny, kind, and handsome.

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